Trinidad & Tobago

Got back from TT/T&T/T’n’T/Trini/Trinidad and Tobago, Port of Spain quite a while back now but finding less and less time to get things up online. Best trip of the contract so far. Was looked after very well by the good people at the High Commission. Thank you to everyone there who made me feel as welcome as I did.

I was feeling pretty darn smug making my way over to Trinidad. What with me giving it a departure lounge here and and a rooftop pool there, I was Lord-Bleeding-Muck himself. Fortunately for you and me, I was brought back down quicksmart. At the end of the first week there, I was told to take time off in lieu for three days whilst waiting for kit to arrive. Being stuck out here and being told something like that is hard to take. So I had the few days off, hired a motor and and found myself cruising along in an automobile. Firstly around the top third of Trinidad then over to Tobago for a quick round-the-island trip. Was taking in the beautiful scenery along Trinidad’s northcoast when all of a sudden cnk-cnk-cnk. Eyup, this is more me. Yep, Scroogemeister Jimminy McSprattmeister went for the old Econo-rental option. £15/day you say? Nissan Sunny with no radio? Where the fuck do I sign? So I found myself sat looking out across Las Cuevas Bay waiting. I waited for more than four hours for a breakdown truck to come tow that heap of junk away from me. Could be worse places to be stuck.

Caught a ferry over to Tobago. (Now call me precious but during that journey I had to move seat due to being surrounded with a grolly-excavating skknorrggghht. I genuinely don’t understand it when someone appears to have the rest of their manners sorted and then they go and miss out on something as basic as that. I used to work with a Frenchman who would do that. Not a hint of shame on his coincidentally froglike face. “Snooorrrrrt. Snooorrrrrt.” JESUS CHRISTIE, SHUT THE FUCK UP, I’m trying not to work here.) Anyway, I was saying…

Realised I was fast running out of time on Tobago and had heard that Nylon Pool was worth checking out. So I took a jetski out to sea, jumped on a boat then sailed over to this place. It’s a sandbank a few miles offshore. The boat stopped, I donned some snorkeling gear and jumped in. Now, I’d always considered snorkeling a little Mickey Mouse compared to SCUBA but after this experience it must be equally as good as there’s only so much depth you can get to before your lug’oles can’t take no more anyway, and just like pushchairs all that kit surely gets in the way a little. Fish and coral of all shapes and colours and I got to swim with some rays -amazing stuff. T or T would be an excellent place to have done my PADI, with a few more days and few more dollars.

Had a small problem grasping the accent with certain people. “I’m terribly sorry my good man but I don’t have a fucking clue what you’re banging on about.” You know that situation where you can’t say “pardon?” or “I’m sorry?” anymore otherwise you just look like a bit of a nobber.

I won’t mention the work side of life on these entries. 1. for fear of being dooced, 2. because I know how a little openness can go a wrong way. But things didn’t go as smoothly as they should have. That is all I shall say on the matter.

My time in T&T in a nutshell: the Hyatt, St Clair, St.James, Maracas, Sylibiah, Leatherback turtles dropping their eggs at the beach under a moonlit sky, Tobago round trip, colleague being pickpocketted right next to me, Scarborough (avoid), Crown Point, Argyle Falls (best three level cascading waterfall I’ve ever been to), calypsonians,Red Ibis, Blue Heron, Doubles, Roti, Bake and Shark, hot pepper sauces, asking directions from a guy with six dogs and a machete (nicest guy I ever met), early morning walks up the hill overlooking the city, James, Tom, Andrea, Beena, Shashank, Ariapita Avenue, Thirstday, Jenny’s, Movie Towne and Brian Lara Boulevard.

Trini marketing for Stag beer:

“A Man’s Beer…conveys strength, individualism and masculinity…”


the Hyatt,

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