Kayaked from home in Wargrave to work at Thames Valley Park by kayak this morning, in a kayak. 4.4 miles, 1 hour 37 minutes 28 seconds. Passed the swans, the geese, the ducks, the sheep, the cows and the people waking from their sleep on their houseboats.

Have had worse starts to the day, how was your commute?

Wargrave jetty

Good morning Berkshire

Sonning Bridge

For the record

Contract length: September 2008 – May 2009, 20 months, cities/countries: 11 (+2 bonus), flights: 24, continents: 5

• Airlines, hotels, cities, countries…
• BA to the The Grand Hotel, Sofia, Bulgaria
• BA to the Hyatt Regency, Belgrade, Serbia
• Virgin Atlantic to the Hyatt, Port of Spain, Trinidad & Tobago
• BA, Hotel Normandie, Bordeaux, France
• Virgin Atlantic to the Auberge Seraphine, Castries,St.Lucia; (Barbados)
• BA to the Crowne Plaza, Prague, Czech Republic
• Continental to the Hyatt, Houston, USA
• TAM to George V, Sao Paulo, Brazil
• BMI to the Four Seasons, Amman,Jordan; (Israel)
• BA to the Taj Lands End, Mumbai, India
• Virgin Atlantic to the Royal Palm Umhlanga, Durban, South Africa, Emirates return

Highlights: jetskiing and snorkelling off Tobago; the Astros’ baseball at the Minute Maid Stadium in Houston; walking around Petra and Wadi Rum; floating in the Dead Sea; returning to India, the bar at the back of an A380. and as strange as it may seem – working hard – putting in silly hours to get the job done.

Lows: Being away from the family.

Offers for contracts of a similar nature are welcomed.

1. Stop over in New Delhi aged 7, 1983
2. Landed back in New Delhi, November 1996 on a round-the-world trip aged 19 for 2 months
3. Back to Goa, Calcutta and up to Darjeeling in 1997
4. Drove from Pakistan to Nepal on the London to Kathmandu 608 tour, 2000
5. Holiday in Kerala, 2005
6. Working for the FCO in Mumbai

…6th trip to India.

Got to catch up with me old mucker Paddy out there and also had the new experience of working whilst crawling around amongst rat shit. It’s all good really.

I love this country. Always have done, always will.

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Amman is located at a height of 2953 feet above sea level. That’s actually quite high up.

Also got down to the Dead Sea which is the lowest point on earth at 1,335 feet below sea level. That’s actually quite low. Obviously I decided to take my memory card out of my camera for that trip.

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Sao Paulo’s a cool place. I expected a dirty, rough sprawl. What I got was a friendly, wealthy, tres moderne high-rise bustling metropolis. Go.

1. In the main, Sao Paulo is not a cheap city.
2. For all I know I could have been flown to any southern European city.
3. Us locals refer to Sao Paulo as Sampa.
4. Sao Paulo lies just on the Tropic of Capricorn. That’s actually quite far south.
5. c.1.4 million Japanese live in the state of Sao Paulo, the largest population of Japanese outside of Japan.
6. I have never had as much sushi as I had in my 3 weeks in Sao Paulo. Eat as much as you like for c.£10.
7. If you’re served a thimble-full of weak beer with more than half the vessel containing froth, it’s probably Chopp, it may be refreshing on a hot day but really, the stuff is piss.
8. Hippest place I visited: the Sky bar atop the equally cool Unique (oo-nee-key) hotel. Have some Caiparinhas up there and enjoy that view. Best cityscape I’ve ever seen.
9. People from Sampa are known as Paulistanos, people from the wider state are called Paulistas.
10. Couples regularly CANOODLE in the STREET! Like it counts! Tongues an’all! My life.

Obrigado

Two weeks in Houston.

These guys (yes, all Americans) have security issues. Walking into the airport we were warned over the tannoy that “Any inappropriate remarks or jokes at security may result in your arrest.” I love a red rag more than the next man so waited behind the yellow line, acting as sensibly as ever. The border security officer nodded for me to step forward. I did so, handed over my passport and glared at him like I meant business. He glared back at me. He meant business too. I glared harder. He glared harder. We both glared harder still. “What is your purpose in this country?” he said cooly whilst removing his Rayban Aviators. “What is your purpose in this country?” I said cooly whilst removing my symmetrically appropriate Rayban Aviators. “You messin’ with me?” he said, clearly agitated. “You messin’ wid me?” I retorted in my best Brooklyn. He nodded to his compatriate, the one with a side-arm hanging off his waist, who swaggered over and without saying a word, cuffed me and led me away. I’ll stop there as none of that is true apart from the line over the tannoy. The jumped up little fascists.

Anyway… Had the first Sunday off so hired a car and drove over to the Johnson Space Center – worth a visit. Drove on down to Galveston (oh Galveston), not worth a visit since it got hit by Ike, the storm which you heard about but not a lot maybe since Lehman Bros collapse and news of the world’s financial mess around that time. After stuffing our faces on the largest crab legs I’ve ever seen at Joe’s Crab Shack in a nice little coastal town called Kemar we drove on back to Houston. Only when we were nearing Houston we realized we’d been driving adjacent to one or two mothers of an oil field/refinery for a majority of the 40 miles from the coast. About 40 miles long I said. These people know how to consume.

Went to see the ball game one mideweek evening at the Minute Maid stadium, Houston Astros vs Philidephia Pirates. Great stuff. Very crowd-centric, although the TV commercial ad breaks were a tad lame. Since I’ve been back home I’ve been receiving NRA spam that just won’t quit. I think it must be due to a form I filled in at the baseball game so that I could get me a free Astros teatowel. Sons of guns.

A few things Texas has got right:

Jalapenos with most meals
Buffalo wings
‘The Flying Saucer’ pub on Main Street, downtown Houston. Loads of bitters, IPAs, porters from around the world.

A few things they’ve got wrong:

Consumption
Comparing healthcare reform to some form of socialism.
And their clinical fear of communism.

At the airport before my flight home:

Waiter: What can I get you?
Me: Could I have the Buffalo shrimp please.
Waiter: Awesome.
Me: Really? I mean was what I just ordered actually genuinely awesome, was it? Don’t ever talk to me again.

I didn’t say any of that last bit either, but I definitely thought it.

Best bumper sticker: “I love concrete”.

But otherwise it was hotel-work-hotel-work. Houston’s a big old town though, 4th biggest in the states. Looking down from the hotel window, I was thinking how we’re all just ants. Drones going about our business. This country in particular though seems to have it fairly well operational. I know you know but the place really is a powerhouse. So I left the Hyatt in downtown Houston where a Corrosion Conference was in full swing, picked up some cowboy paraphenalia on the way to the airport and flew home to my girls.

Next up: Sao Paulo.

For the record though, recently did two weeks working in Prague. Comment: Too many effing tourists stuffed into a small but beautiful city. Then did four days in Castries, St.Lucia. Saw very little of the place itself though. Did get to spend an hour on the beach in Barbados on the return however. A typical example of service in St.Lucia:

Waiter: “Can I take your order?”

Me: “Could you give us two minutes please?”

15 minutes later…

Me: “Hi, could we order please?”

Waiter: “Ahh, YOU want to order now?” [walks off again, most likely to prepare the special sauce for my dinner]

Visiting a landlocked country then comparing that to various islands makes it bleedin’ obvious that one day, wherever we eventually land (geddit), it has to be on the coast.

Plus, I hit 50 the other day (fancypants gmap). Yes it’s all about the numbers, not the actual substance of the places.

Pardonnez-moi pour mon français terrible (seulement huit ans de salle de class français dans mon ecole), mais ici est mon petit blog post de mon semaine et demie en Bordeaux, dernier mois.

Bordeaux est un tres attractivement ville. Les bâtiments sont trés trés magnifique. La ville il a que certains ‘I don’t know what’ comme ils dit en Angleterre.

Je pense que Les Français connais leur oignons avec les repas. Pour exemple: pour petit dejeuner j’ai un pain au chocolat (ou deux), un cafe au lait et du jus d’orange tous les jours, simple mais agreable, non? Pour les autres repas j’ai a manger: du lapin, du canard, du fromage, du foie gras et un petit peu du vin… parfait.

J’étais là pour le feu d’artifice sur le soir de Bastille jour. Mais il est très étrange, tout les personnes est resté très calme et tranquille. Le merde bizarre.

Un observation: Il ya beaucoup des personnes en France avec les nez grande. Je pense à moi-même “d’où viens-tu, nez ville?”

Et aussi un autre observation, il  y a beaucoup des madamoiselles qui marcher autour le ville avec pas de brassiere! Oui! A la Charlie Dimmock! Zut alors.

Merci beaucoup, c’est tout pour maintenant.