JAMES SPRATT .org

This from Moon In The Gutter via Angry. Take one and pass them on.

1. My uncle once: had a fire extinguisher blow up in his face.

2. Never in my life: have I needed a job more than now.

3. When I was five: I think I was at school at Windlesham in Hove.

4. High school was: really just called ‘school’ and I liked it.

5. I will never forget: the birth of my daughter.

6. Once I met: Mother Theresa.

7. There’s this girl I know: who doesn’t know me yet, her name is Bonnie Colebrook.

8. Once, at a bar: I drank a pint of StevO’s puke.

9. By noon, I’m usually: thinking about lunch.

10. Last night: I watched 4 episodes of 24, series 5.

11. If only I had: £10m.

12. Next time I go to church: will be too soon.

13. What worries me most: is that I will not accomplish my objectives.

14. When I turn my head left I see: a desk, 3 monitors upon it and a house slowly being built over the road.

15. When I turn my head right I see: the terrace and some clouds.

16. You know I’m lying when: I politely turn down food with the phrase “no, I couldn’t”.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: the big glasses.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: your mum.

19. By this time next year: I hope we will be 4.

20. A better name for me would be: James Spratt Dot Org

21. I have a hard time understanding: mandarin.

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: get that missing 3rd A level.

23. You know I like you if: I say so.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: your mum.

25. Take my advice, never: consider anything a problem.

26. My ideal breakfast is: the whole nine yards, FULL english, cereals, juice, yoghurt and coffee refills.

27. A song I love but do not have is: not a phrase I would need to use thanks to BitTorrenting.

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: try your hardest to be ubercool or ubergay.

29. Why won’t people: stop beating around the bush.

30. If you spend a night at my house: Frankie may have something to say about the matter.

31. I’d stop my wedding for: kicks.

32. The world could do without: the Republican Party.

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: submit.

34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: Frankie Spratt.

35. Paper clips are more useful than: Vanessa Feltz.

36. If I do anything well it’s: bitch.

37. I can’t help but: take photographs.

38. I usually cry: in tearjerker movies as I did with ‘Welcome to Sarajevo’ again the other day.

39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: travel.

40. And by the way: I do not mind if you offer me gainful employment.