JAMES SPRATT .org

a.k.a. KrustyFM, Russell works in my office. Top nutjob:

• Rob: “he’s based in Germany isn’t he?”
  Russ: “Hula hula hula, – oh no, that’s the Scandinavians, innit.”
• “It’s about time we had some staples in this place.”
• “The future’s bright, the future’s orange.”
• “Mmm, softened butter. Oh, no it’s not.”
• “My seed’s going all over the place. Have you got any scissors Annie?”
• “Knife throwing, schwi-dong.”
• “So what I’ve got to do is; I’ve got to get both me jackets in this bag. And me spandex an’all.”
• “1 banana or 2 bananas? 1 banana. 1 banana, 2 banana, 3 banana, 4. Urrgh, bruised banana.”
• Incredulously: “BLOODY HELL, it’s a bank holiday in Germany today!”
• “Sean Sean the Leprechaun.”
• Whilst comparing the labels on two different Belgian beers that contained the word ‘d’abbaye’: “Must be the same brewery then.”
• “D’ya know what, there’s nothing quite like a Victoria sponge.”
• 1 week later: “Oh, I like a bit of the old Victoria sponge.”
• Sniffing my lunch: “What’s that, fish?” Me: “No, potato.”
• “Swedish. Swedish meatballs. Aren’t meatballs Italian though? S’pose they are.”
• Leaving to go to the shops: “Je retournez vous, wey hey.”